Loss and Loneliness

Do you have stacks of friends but just feel incredibly trapped and lonely when you are stuck at home looking after you kids all day?  My mum died of cancer ten years ago and my father is an alcoholic.  Her death triggered a great depression in me that involved drinking a bottle of wine a day, falling asleep on the settee every night and letting my house, my desk at work and consequently my mind go to rack and ruin.  My drinking continued for a few years and I finally curbed the habit when I had the children.  However in the aftermath I have been left with a disorganised and at times erratic mind and a home that reflects this!!  I am desperate to escape this part of my personality and to live a house that I can enjoy, not one that holds me prisoner all the time.  

Most of my family live too far away to just pop in and look after my children while I go out or get something done in the house.  I am stuck in a rut and am unable to climb out of it at the moment.

Self Worth and Confidence

Have you ever felt that your very soul has been ripped out of you in the work place? During my career I have been bullied badly on a couple of occasions.  In the last job I had, before my kids came along, I was working as a Fundraiser for a charity.  I was pregnant when the boss from hell was appointed, and by the time I left on maternity leave she has torn me to shreds.  Consequently when I applied to come back and work under the flexible working scheme, she refused and then left her job!!! 

Motherhood or Motherhood!!!

This is going to be a space not only for me to vent spleen about the daily frustrations of being a stay at home mother, but also a space where other mothers (and indeed fathers) can come along and share their experiences with others. I hope I'm not making motherhood sound too clinical, it's just that I feel I need to create a little oasis for myself where I can expand my mind again after having two beautiful girls, four and one!